Cocky and Overly Confident

What makes someone overconfident? Is there something terribly wrong with being extremely confident about yourself? During Tyler, The Creator’s set at Camp Flog Gnaw, he stopped the show to say that he deserves to be overconfident. He’s done everything that he’s said he’s going to do and worked super hard to do it. After the show, I told my mom I thought he does deserve it. She said she thought what Tyler was saying was fair, but he worded it in a very cocky way. Does all that work deserve being a little cocky? What about people that haven’t worked super hard to prove themselves? I think there is an art to being overconfident; some people do it really well, and some people make themselves look like an asshole. When I was obsessed with Tyler, I really loved the way he thinks. I love the way he talks and his explanation of his creative process. I tried as hard as I could to emulate his work, but in my own way. I tried being confident in the same way he was. People tell you that if you “manifest” things, they will happen. Is acting overconfident a way to “manifest” things into reality? Or is it a way to make up for your own shortcomings? I hated myself during this time period. When it all comes down to things, I’m not the best at anything. I’m not a fantastic artist. I’m not a fantastic golfer. I’m not a fantastic friend, son, or boyfriend. I am what I am. I don’t want to be overly confident because it just isn’t the truth. I doubt myself too much for all of that bullshit. I found lying to myself not to be helpful. Whenever someone is super humble, I view them in such a higher regard. Why can’t that be me or everyone else? I had someone tell me my artwork in the main office at the school was “literally amazing.” I look at it and think about how shitty it is. I wish I did something else, something special or meaningful. I hate it. The person who said this said he wished he realized I was cooler earlier too. I don’t think I am cool. I think I’m trying to keep up and be myself. I fall so short of that day in and day out. How much validation do you need to be overly confident? I don’t know and don’t think I’ll ever know. The only place I’m overly confident is with my family. I’m so confident in my parents and sisters. I’d tell anyone how fucking great they are. I think that shows in my blog posts. If you think I’m a dick and way too confident, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how I can improve myself. There is a scale. There is a level you belong at in my eyes. Some people are equal with their confidence level, some people are way below, and some people are sky high above theirs. I don’t want to be the dick that is sky high above my own level. I’ll try to follow these words myself, and I don’t always do, but stay humble. Being humble is admirable and cool. Happy Wednesday and thanks for reading!