I Hate Water!

At the end of the summer in 2020, it was announced that the Travis Scott Happy Meal was going to be hitting the great golden arches around the globe. Everyone knows I love McDonald’s. I love their McChicken, and their Coke is on a level like no other. This announcement had me excited. I happen to like Travis Scott, and I also happen to love McDonald’s. This promotion was perfect for me, except it turns out it wasn’t. In the early months of 2020, I declared I wasn’t going to drink anything but water for a month. I would be cutting chocolate milk, soda, lemonade, and all juices. This was really tough for me because water is for freaks. I was only doing this to be able to tell myself that I was capable of it. I used to try and prove myself to myself a lot. After a long month and the start of a global pandemic, I was able to go the whole month with just drinking water. I remember the first sip I had of chocolate milk in April. God, it was beautiful! I didn’t do any of these stupid self-challenges for a while, until August. I told myself, you are a vegetarian for a month. No meat! This was right before the “Travvy Patty” was announced. I don’t know why I wanted to be vegetarian. I don’t understand vegetarians. I have nothing against them, at least they aren’t vegan. I was bummed out when I was unable to partake in the “Travvy Patty.” Luckily, the promotion ran through September, and I was able to try it out on October first. It was my first meat back. So, why am I writing this in the fall of 2024? Well, I think it is time to prove to myself that I can do it again. No, I’m not going meatless. I’m going water-only! This last year or so I have indulged in so many sugary drinks that my teeth might just fall out. Vitamin Water and Coke are two of my favorite things about being alive, but I’m going to go without them for an entire month. My friend Charlie went without soda for a while. I’m not sure how long, but maybe I’ll keep it going like he did. I’m not promising anything, but maybe. I think this will be a good experiment and probably a healthy one too. If you own any Coke stock, I’d sell it. Stockholders will know the price is going down after I announce this. I have a few cans of Coke left in my room, so I’ll finish those before the month ends. It’ll be a challenge. I hate water. It is so boring. I don’t understand the bullshit hype around it. I’m not sure if I will be drinking from the water fountain outside my room, SmartWater (to still support the Coca-Cola company), or buy a lot of Poland Springs. Maybe I will do all three! We will see. I’m starting this November first. It means Thanksgiving won’t be a day of chugging cranberry juice. I won’t be able to enjoy a crisp beer with my friends either. It is just something to make the challenge harder. Happy Wednesday, everyone! Wish me luck!