I'm Burnt Out

I wanted to title this post “Another Short Post,” but I felt like it was a cop-out. It got me thinking that maybe every post should be a shorter post. Although, I feel like the blog starts to lose integrity if it’s any shorter than it already is. There’s probably a happy medium for how long a post should be—not too long, but not too short. I think 500 words is that perfect amount. It’s an easy two-minute read, but it has a sufficient amount of writing to make it (hopefully) entertaining. To be honest with you, I think the deep-down urge to make posts shorter is because I’m so burnt out. Every time it comes to writing these posts, it feels like another thing I have to get done. I love it, but when my life hasn’t had anything exciting lately, it’s hard to make posts interesting. My life just hasn’t been exciting. I work, “learn,” see Violet, and sleep. That’s it. I can only write about those so much. I could write about Violet all day, but I want to keep some of my private life private. I’ve written many posts about being lazy. I’ve been honest about my laziness. Lately, I haven’t been terribly lazy, but that part of me hasn't left. I think because of my deep-down laziness, I get burnt out faster. I really just need a week upstate. I need to be out of the city in a slower-paced environment. I want to smoke a cigar on the lake and talk to my hometown friends about random shit. I remember saying I didn’t like Cooperstown before I left for college. Now, I know that I was stupid as fuck back then. I just don’t like things all the time. I need a mix of both. Last year, I had a great mix of both. I went home so much. This year, I haven’t left the city since early August. I need to touch a real tree. I need to be at the lakefront. I need home. I want a private shitter and a private shower. I want to drive a car again and go faster than the 17 MPH subway. I want to hug Keegan. I want to celebrate the New Year with the boys. I want to not be an RA for a few days. I really want to hit a flush golf ball again. I could go on and on. I think I’m just someone who won’t be okay with being stationary for a long time. I don’t know if there’s anything wrong with that. It worries me a little that I’ll never be sitting still when I get older. I read a blog post from earlier this year about what my ideal life is. It’s been ten months, and it’s not close to what I want now. It’s a weird feeling. I’m only nineteen and things will be different in ten months from now too. Anyway, have a great week! Happy Monday, everyone!