I'm Scared of Having Ugly Children

I've wanted to post this for awhile. I wrote it almost a year ago. Here you go!

I hope this post won’t piss too many people off. I don’t think it will, but nowadays you don’t know what will get you in trouble and what is okay to say. I’ve deemed it okay to say that I’m scared of having ugly children and that is the honest truth. When people ask me my biggest fears, I have three. My parents dying, having any part of my body amputated and having really ugly children. Every time I talk to a parent about this, they always say that as soon as the baby comes out, you instantly fall in love with it and don’t care what it looks like. To the parents who said that, I’m not with you. I’ll love my kid no matter what. Having a kid will be my greatest accomplishment, but I don’t want it to be conventionally ugly. I want a really cute kid. I want to be able to show pictures of my kid to my friends. I can’t show pictures of my kid if it looks ugly. My friends will say “Ohhh they’re so cute!” and I’ll know they are just trying to be nice. That would drive me crazy. I can’t wait to dress my kid, but if they’re ugly I’d be wasting my time. You can’t put paint over a catastrophe. I wish there was a way I could design my kid. I want to send whoever makes them an Adobe Illustrator file and have it my way. That would save a lot of stress. My wife will probably fucking hate me. I’ve heard that after some births the mothers grow resentment towards the newborn. Maybe my wife will hate the both of us. I’ll love my kid no matter what it looks like, no matter what its hobbies are and whatever it hates. As long as my kid knows Emma Stone deserved the Oscar for Poor Things, we will get along fine. I just know, in my head, if it pops out of the whom looking ugly, I’ll think “Fuck, I had one job and I fucked it up”. From the day it comes out till the day I die, I’ll feel like I ruined the kid’s life. Any shit they face will be my fault. Having a cute kid would solve these problems so easily. People would say “Hey! Your kid is really cute!” and I would be able to agree. The kid wouldn’t embarrass the family. I wouldn’t have to stress ruining the kids' life from a looks standpoint, just a fathering standpoint, which I think I can deal with. I hope when my friends start having kids they won’t be ugly either. I can’t stomach lying to them. I probably will have to. I have to be nice right? I can’t say “Sorry buddy, you fucked it up”. Ugly babies exist. I hope mine won’t. Happy Friday!