Is Bromance Dead?

Is romance dead? Has it gone on a long vacation to the Bahamas and decided to fuck off for a few years? Well, I’m in the lucky position to say romance isn’t dead. It isn’t on a Tommy Bahama getaway either, but that isn’t really what I wanted to write about today. I think the real question people should be asking is: Is bromance dead? Bromance has been around since the dawn of time. We all know Eve couldn’t stand when Adam and Steve cuddled and watched Rom-Coms (platonically), but there was nothing she could do about it. Bromance is defined as “a close but nonsexual relationship between two men.” If we want to get really deep into this, we’d have to draw the line on what “nonsexual” is, but I think I can leave that part out. Romance makes you happy, but bromance holds you together. I think one of the best feelings in the world is when you’re hanging out with one of the boys and you start thinking, “Fuck bro, are we on a date right now?” It’s those kinds of moments when you realize you are truly lucky to have the friends you have. This happens quite frequently when you go out on a boat, listen to Lana Del Rey, and stargaze. I’m not quite sure what word everyone else uses; maybe it's still considered bromance, but you know whatever your word is. To answer my initial question: bromance can never die. It would be impossible. Our nation was founded on the love of bros, so where would we be without it? We could never let bromance die. Of course, you might have a falling out with your bro, but it’s never dead. Real bros reconnect after years apart and still share an ice-cold brew. I’m very lucky to have a lot of bromance in my life. Violet probably wishes I didn’t have so much. I think she used to think Keegan and I were having sex behind her back. I think a lot of people thought that, but if a bromance is strong enough, people will get false ideas. Honestly, Violet still probably worries about that. Bromance is alive and well. I think people get way too amped up for Valentine’s Day. The bros have no special day. Maybe the 4th of July, but that is more America Day. Whoever wins this election better make a holiday to celebrate bromance. Okay, I have a terrible headache from reading this over again and just in general. I hope you have a swell weekend. Go buy a bro a brew! Happy Friday!