Moving On!

I’m jealous of people who knew exactly what they wanted to do from a young age and stuck to it. I’ve had hundreds of dream jobs and dream lives. I have never been able to write it down in pen, just a very erasable pencil. My interests switch so easily that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stick to one thing. I hate change so much, but maybe it’s because everything is always changing for me. Of course, there are underlying things that stick around for a while. I still love video games and golf—those aren’t going anywhere. The issue is that those aren’t careers. I can’t make money off playing golf with my dad and friends. I can’t make money playing video games. I guess I could make money doing both, but those markets are pretty saturated right now. Those are also my time to relax, and I don’t want my relaxation time turning into work. That would suck. I’m not quite sure what I want to do in life right now. I usually have some idea in my head, but right now I’m blank. I really like working at Ralph Lauren. Obviously, I don’t want to be a door boy forever. I love living in the city, but I’m ready for a new experience already. Growing up in the upstate countryside and then moving to one of the biggest cities in the world is tough. I always thought I would be happy just in the city. Not so much anymore. I need to be upstate or somewhere more rural. I’ve been thinking about the fact that I have never been on my own before. I think that is something I definitely want to try—moving somewhere for a little bit and being alone. My first year at school I had a roommate and went home all the time. This year, Violet lives down here and my parents visit frequently. I think taking some time to be alone and enjoy it would be good for me. The issue becomes having enough money to go fuck off for a month or so in a foreign country. I’m saving a good amount of money by being an RA and working while I’m at school, so maybe it isn’t too far out of reach for me. I don’t know where I’d go. Probably Scotland, because of the golf and I can speak the same language. I just want somewhere where the air is fresh and I can wear a sweater. Maybe I could go work somewhere overseas and that could be my reasoning. Work and alone time—it doesn’t sound too bad! I wish I could just find something I loved to do for work and was content with it. I wish I could find somewhere that had both aspects of countryside and city living. This is my last post of my long time away from home. I finally get to go home Sunday night. I am so excited. It has now been over four months since I was last in Cooperstown and saw my friends. I’ll be back in the city for one last class, a concert, and work next week. I’ll be commuting back and forth over break, but it will be okay (maybe a bit tiring!). Happy Friday, everyone! See you soon.