Sin City

Another guest post! This post was written by my best friend and brother from another mother, Keegan. I haven't read it yet, but I am very excited! I hope you enjoy. Happy Monday and here you go!

Hello Folks,

I hope all is very swell in your lives my name is Keegan, Max’s special someone, and today, I will be relaying my thoughts and opinions of Vegas in all of its glory. I hope you enjoy.

After visiting Vegas, I’ve come to determine that the only good thing about Vegas is the movie hangover and perhaps the sphere because that is pretty undeniably cool. I had the not-so-fortunate fortune of visiting Vegas this past week briefly on my trip through Utah. My trip through Utah consisted of camping at all 5 of the National Parks in the State. Now we had flown into Vegas and driven through it briefly at the start before heading North to Zion National Park. The only major landmarks I saw in that time were the Trump Tower and the Statue of Liberty and one of those left me looking solemnly out the window for the next 2 hours.

Now I may be a bit biased in my judgment of Vegas. The 7ish hours we had walking through the city I was freshly sick, had a headache, was blindingly hungry, and was having to shit my brains out most of the time. It was also a very weird contrast waking up that morning surrounded by no one but cows and then heading to the monstrosity that is Vegas. All that aside, every step I took felt like consumerism was being shoved down my throat. While most cities in the world rely on tourism and aspects of consumerism, that is Vegas’s entire shtick. The sidewalks are literally designed to walk you through stores the street isn’t even an option at some spots. Around every corner there was at least one rich meany person being a dick to a worker just trying to do their job; not a good look. While yes it’s fun to drink with your friends and perhaps gamble a little, but every person you walk by being at least a little bit drunk and reckless was not my cup of tea. There were so many flashing billboards with shitty lawyer ads it was impossible not to get a migraine. Also, you can’t even get a single slice of incredibly sub-par pizza for less than $5 almost. Now I don’t mean to be entirely bleak about Vegas I’m sure it has some things that are great like its Apex landfill powering thousands of homes through garbage fumes. If I was there in a healthier more Angry Orchard-like condition and perhaps with Max who could be as derpy as Alan in The Hangover my outlook may be a little different. Put very simply, Vegas just made me sad. If I had to stay there for a full week, I genuinely think I would lose all hope in humanity. Now I don’t want anyone reading this to think I am judging a book by its cover here. I spent my 7 agonizingly long hours there trying to keep an open mind, but it felt like I opened the first page of a book and the pages were stained and the pages were sticky and stuck together by some foreign substance, it simply wasn’t a good book. From what I experienced, Vegas just was not my thing, but it could absolutely be someone’s thing and that’s totally cool too. Personally, I’m happy to stay away for a while. Thank you for reading and don’t hate me for hating Vegas.