Snapchat Is Killing Me Slowly

I’m not sure if my kids will be allowed to have a phone as early as I had one. I think the age of kids getting phones is getting younger and younger. I don’t know how I feel about that. I got my first phone when I was in fifth grade. It was primarily used to text my parents when I wanted to get picked up from the golf course. I might’ve had a few games on it, but no social media of any sort. When I was in seventh grade, I got my first real phone. I had all the fixins’! Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and whatever else you can name. I had it. Except that fucking stupid Musically or whatever that lip-syncing bullshit was. I think that was when Instagram was at its peak. I’ve written a post about this before. I loved Instagram back then! I think all these apps didn’t ruin my childhood or my mind. I thought I was pretty good at disconnecting from my phone. That was not the case. I was awful at it then, and I’m just as awful at it now. I am the least disconnected person ever. If I don’t check my phone every four minutes, I think my brain will explode. I need to know what is going on, and I need to know if anyone texted me. I’ve been looking at my social media use a lot recently. I hate how connected I am. TikTok is my ultimate demise, but it isn’t the app I hate myself for using the most. Snapchat is. I fucking hate how I use Snapchat. I hate that I still use Snapchat. When does using Snapchat become a young person thing? And when do we become not young anymore? Other than my parents and sisters, Snapchat is the main source of communication with all my friends. I’ve always felt that I only use it because everyone else does. Snapchat is like a drug. Someone snaps you. You snap them back. They snap back. Then it goes back and forth without purpose. I don’t know why. It feels so juvenile, but I can’t get away from it. It’s addicting. I thought asking for someone's Snapchat was the most normal way to get in contact with someone. Now we are grown up and I have to ask for your number? That feels too mature. I’ve put a new plan in place to try and end my Snapchat addiction. As soon as I lose a streak with someone, I am done snapping them. Once I lose all my streaks, I’ll delete Snapchat. I’m over it. I need to take it seriously, but I know I won’t. I don’t have enough self-control. If someone like Violet loses our streak, I can’t not snap her. She’s too pretty! Snapchat has weird etiquette too. I feel like an asshole, but it might just be time to move on. I just don’t understand any of this! Why am I addicted to a fucking app with a stupid little white ghost as the logo? If I delete Snapchat and use iMessage, will everyone keep using Snapchat and never talk to me? I’m worried, but we will see! Happy Monday and sorry for a late post!