Two Weeks Left

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today. There was an escalation in the protesting last night. The NYPD set up barricades, at least a hundred cops, and they flushed out the encampment in our breezeway. I thought I’d write a post all about this. It was nuts, but I can’t. I’m so sick of this. I don’t like either side here. I want this to be over and to enjoy the last two weeks at FIT. A good number of my friends are already home. It kind of sucks to be here stressing about work when everyone is on summer vacation. During high school, everyone got done at the same time. Everyone started at the same time too. We all had the same summer. Now we don’t, and I hate it. I was one of the first to go away and one of the last to come back. I’m so jealous of anyone who is done with school. Wanting to be home and done with classwork takes up a huge percentage of my thoughts. I feel guilty thinking about it so much. I should be able to enjoy it here and block out the outside noise. I just can’t. I don't remember what I wrote about the other day, but I think it was along the same lines as all this. I’m tired, and I hate it. I’m so close to burning out, and I feel embarrassed. If this tires me out, how are the next three years going to be? What about after college? I don’t really know what I want to do after college anymore. I’ve heard a lot of professors say that you can only take on passion projects if you do the annoying bill-paying projects first. I just have to do something creative. I would hate to live a life of Excel sheets and presentations. I want to do something cool. I worry too much. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that too. Ugh. I’ve learned over the last few years that the best way to deal with things is just to deal with them. Don’t let them sit on your mental shelf and address them. Right now, I’m stuck with the meh feeling. I keep thinking that it’s just two weeks, and I’ll be home for three months. My way of dealing with it is just saying, “It's almost over. It’s almost over.” I love it here, but ugh. I know I’m going to want to run back here in three weeks' time too. I think I’m going to go on a grind tonight after one of my final exams and try to get as much work done as possible. The less I have to do, I think I’ll be less stressed and can focus on studying for my tests. On the other hand, if I get everything done, I’ll have too much downtime on my hands. Having no money in the city is pretty boring if you've seen everything you’ve wanted to see. We’ll see how it goes! I’m hoping not every blog until I leave is complaining like this. Also, this is the 100th post! That’s pretty fucking cool if you ask me. I know people thought this would be over a long time ago. Happy Wednesday, folks!