What Makes You A Good Person?

Before I start this post, I just want to put a disclaimer. This post is just a continuation of thoughts. I jump around. I ask myself questions. Again, that is the point of all of these posts. To answer my own questions. I'm honest.

I just had a really great conversation with my mom for about an hour and a half. It was the kind of conversation that you walk away from and feel like everyone left with differing and new thoughts. I love conversations like that. It's opening your ideas, sharing them and even letting some new ones in. It can change the way you think of something. It's a vulnerable thing to do. It leaves something you feel strongly about on the chopping block. Part of our conversation was talking about what makes someone a good person. Well, what does make a good person? Who is to decide what a good or bad person is? That's the way I feel about it. You can only determine whether someone is a good or bad person in your own head. Maybe people agree and maybe some don't. Obviously, whatever the majority's opinion is, is usually the "right" opinion to have. I hate that. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't account for everyone. Again, I believe the only opinion that is right for you, is the one you have. If you think someone is a good person, then they are a good person. If someone disagrees with you, be okay with the fact that you can disagree with each other. There are plenty of people who I think are good stand-up people that others might not like. Wait, that is everyone I like! Everything you have an opinion on, whether it is liking or disliking, someone views it the other way. I know there are people who think I’m a great person and I know that some people think I’m a shitty person. I don’t care about either, I sincerely couldn’t give two less shits. I formulate my own opinion of myself and that’s all I care about. Does it feel good to have someone like you? Yes, of course. Does it bother me when someone doesn’t like me? Yes, of course. Things will never stop bothering me, but preventing that by not caring is my way to go about things. So again, what makes you a good person? My mom told me a good person is someone who treats others kindly. I treat people kindly as often as I can, some people don’t deserve my kindness. I think by her definition, I am a kind and good person. She told me what makes you kind is what you show to the world. That is what makes it real. What is real to me? Everything. Any thought I have is real. That means, I don’t think I am a good person. I think there are tons of things that contribute to this conclusion. I am very judgmental, sometimes quietly or sometimes out loud. I am very honest, when honesty might not be necessary. I try to stay neutral in political and around-the-world events. I live the best life I can live and I sometimes put others in my rear view mirror. I am not a good person in my eyes. Does that make me sad? Yes, very much so. I’m a very happy person, but that does bring me down the most. Although I am proud of myself and I think I have plenty of potential, I do not think I am a good person MORALLY. I am proud of myself for many reasons, but one of them is the way I think. The way I think makes me, ME! I would rather be sad when I go to sleep, then live a life of thoughts that isn’t me. I don’t want to pretend like I’m not judgmental or honest. I don’t want to suppress these thoughts for what other people think is “right”. It is kind of funny because this post makes me sound so awful, I'm sure. When it all comes down to it and you are on your deathbed, don’t you want to be happy with the life you lived? I’m going to live my life to be the best it can be and that makes me a bad person. I’m okay with that. Living YOUR best life is selfish. I’m okay with that. I want to be happy on my deathbed with the people I love. I love life. I love living.