Work, Pay People, and Then Complain

Another day, another post written past 11:00 PM. I know I said in my last post that I was going to try and get out of this hump, but I’m waiting until next week. It is so hard to try and write a post during my lunch break on Fridays. As soon as I get home, all I want to do is lay down, and I have no motivation to write anything. That allows this cycle to continue. I fall asleep, wake up at 11:00 PM, and write my post so I can get it out before midnight. To be honest with you all, I’m having a hard time getting motivated again. There is no drive to get these done, and I’m forcing them out. The whole point of this is to share my life and opinions, but right now, I don’t feel like I have anything interesting going on, and nobody cares about my opinions. I had a friend text me in early December that he thought my posts were mainly just becoming me saying that I didn’t have anything to say in ten different ways. I looked back at my posts and realized it was so true. I sounded like I was complaining about something I choose to do; nobody is forcing me to do this. I am such a bitch! I told myself I wanted to go two months without writing one of those posts again, and I succeeded. I came up with something to write about instead of taking the easy way out. It felt great. I think I wrote some of my better posts since December. I always want to keep improving and writing the best posts I can. I get a lot of happiness when a post does well or when someone starts a conversation with me over something I wrote. I don’t want this post to count as one of those posts where I’m just writing to write. I want it to be a reminder that some posts will suck, like the last few, and some will be great. That isn’t a reason to become unmotivated; it’s a reason to sit down and come up with something interesting to say. It’s hard for me to write something that a lot of people will read. I want to crack that code somehow. Whenever I write about something I am interested in, it flops harder than Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis. I’m not educated enough in politics to write anything informative, and no one wants my opinion on shit like that. If I write about my personal life, it usually does pretty well, but I only have so much to say. Violet will tell you I’m a lazy fuck. I don’t do much, and I only really go out to go to work. No one wants to hear about my work; I stand and open the door for people. I would like to write about classes I enjoy, but unfortunately, I haven’t had one of those in over a year! I really hope something crazy happens this weekend. Earthquake, reincarnation, or really just anything. Please! Give me content, sweet baby Jesus! I’m dying of boredom’s thirst. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be an adult. Work, complain, pay people money, complain, pay more money, work, and then complain more. I hope to fuck not! I am one year into adulthood, and it feels like someone is wringing my testicles like a wet towel at the beach. Have a great weekend, everyone! See you on Monday with a new view on life!